Cure Serious Wounds Scroll

From Darfuria

Cure Serious Wounds

To make battle scrolls of CSW.

Ingredients

  • Ink from a Giant Squid
  • Troll blood
  • 2 haematite stones
  • a fire opal
  • 2 mushrooms
  • an earthen pot of soil
  • a bucket
  • 2 hooks on a rail that ends in a cupboard
  • oil for cupboard hinges
  • pair of pliers
  • bone from a Pit Fiend
  • pantaloons
  • headband
  • plums (6)
  • an old worn towel
  • cayenne pepper (1/2 teaspoon)
  • beetroot (1)
  • spoon
  • small box of oregano
  • yeast
  • sneeze of a Rhinoceros
  • eagle feather
  • rope
  • stick
  • vellum

Method

To start the scroll the bucket has to be hung from a rail using two hooks, one at each end. Somebody must walk around the room in a circle, stirring the pot of earth, until there is a distinct smell of it in the room. The earth must then be thrown out of a first floor window onto the street below.

The troll blood must be then brought tho the boil in the bucket. When it is boiling, the two haematite stones must be placed up the casters nose (one in each nostril) and sneeezed into the blood. The caster has to make a constitution check. If he fails, he goes deaf for a peroid of time determined by the DM.

Next the two mushrooms have to be crushed with the tip of an eagle feather. When the mushrooms are crushed, the caster must add them whilst clicking his tongue to the song Twinkle Twinkle.

Next the pit fiend bone must be added using a pair of pliers. When it is added, the caster has to open a very well oiled cupboard door whilst making the sound of a really creaky door opening with his own voice. Then when all of that is boiling, the bucket must be tapped with a stick by somebody wearing pantaloons and a headband until it has slid along the rail into the opened cupboard.

Next the bucket has to have a rope tied around it and then the cupbaord must be closed. The mixture should be left there for 12 hours. When you return, open the cupboard normally, tale the bucket out using the rope, and bring the mixture to the boil whilst trying to invent your own poem about buckets.

When the mixture is boiling, the cayenne pepper has to be placed on a spoon and blown into the mixture using your nose. Whilst all that is bubbling, the betroot has to be placed on the table and beaten to a pulp by the caster using his bare hands, whilst he is chanting "I'm normal, you're normal," over and over with each mash.

The oregano has to be added at exactly the same time as the yeast, and then the bag containing the rhinoceros sneeze has to be added to the mixture. The character has to make a constitution check at +4 to see if he sneezes when adding the rhinoceros sneeze and if he does the potion is ruined.

The ink from the squid must then be poured through the old towel to drain through into the bucket. Then on top the plums must be placed. The plums have to be strained through the towel into the mixture by squeezing them through by hand. After that, leave the mixture to simmer for 24 hours.

When you return, the mixture must be cooled down whilst you are cleaning the eagle feather. When it is cooled, you must take a mouthful of the mixture (make a save vs poison @ +3, if you fail you must have a neautralise poison cast on you otherwise you will die) and then lick the ink onto the vellum.

While the ink is still wet, write the word "BLUMP" on your hand and then using the eagle feather write the scroll by scoring the vellum in the wet ink.

It takes one mouthful of the magic mixture for every scroll. The maximum number that can be created is the caster's level or 13, whichever is less.