Pie Missile

From Darfuria

Pie Missile (conjuration/summoning, alteration)

  • Level: 1
  • Range: 0
  • Duration: 1 round + 1 round/level
  • Area of effect: Special
  • Components: V,S,M
  • Casting time: 1 round
  • Saving throw: None
  • Researched by: Pozor


When this spell has been cast, the caster’s shoes grow in length by 1 foot plus 1 inch per level, causing him to lose 2 points of DEX for the duration of the spell. Additionally the caster appears to gain a ludicrous hat, foolish costume and absurd face paint as appropriate. Armour class is not otherwise affected. All of these things, plus any pieces of pie, either disappear or return to normal at the end of the spell’s duration.

For each round that the spell is in effect, a wonderful pie, tart, cake or other such device appears as if by magic in the wizard’s hand. The wizard may then hurl this object up to a range of 50 feet, gaining +1 to hit if the target is within 30’ and +2 to hit if the target is within 10’. If the target is close enough for a melee attack, the wizard may do so with a bonus of +4 to hit.

Although the pies do no actual damage on a hit, and are of little use as food as they cease to exist when the spell expires, they can cause a comic interlude or diversion and possibly the following, roll 1d10 for each pie:

1              DEX check or vision impaired, - 2 DEX, -1 to hit

2              DEX check or blinded until the pie is wiped away (takes 1 round)

3              Slippage underfoot, DEX check or fall

4              Pie gets into some part of the victim’s person it shouldn’t, WIS check or loss of concentration for 1 round

5              WIS check or victim becomes enraged (-2 to hit, +2 dmg) for 1 round/caster level

6              WIS check or victim laughs, -1 STR for 1 round

7-10         Nothing extra

The material components for this spell are a pinch of fine white flour, a handful of any form of foam and a catapult that has been stolen from a child. The catapult is not consumed in the casting.