Potion of Constitution

From Darfuria

Potion of Constitution

How to make a Potion of Constitution, by Dan.

This potion will raise a character's CON score to 16 for up to one year, depending on factors described below.

This recipe will make just one potion. Several potions may be created simultaneoulsy if they are kept separate and there are enough ingredients.

Ingredients

  • holy water (1 pint)
  • dried peppermint (3 leaves)
  • powdered haematite (special: 10gp/day of duration, if more than 3650gp is added the potion will become too gritty and useless)
  • benzoin (1 leaf)
  • powdered adrue (1oz.)
  • white birch (1 stick)
  • blackcurrants (5)
  • fresh cleavers (10)
  • fresh comfrey roots (2)
  • fresh dill (1 sprinkle)
  • garlic (2 cloves)
  • fresh hissop (3 leaves)
  • plantain (3 stalks)
  • vampire blood (10oz.)
  • troll flesh (1lb)
  • mashed centre of carrion crawler tentacle (1)
  • hairs from the heads of a living venerable elf (4)
  • storm giant hearts (1)
  • black dragon intestines (5')
  • sliced mosasaurus lungs (1 lung)
  • small neckbones from plesiosaurus (3)
  • skin from remorrhaz back (1' square)

Equipment

  • flagpole 16’ tall (1)
  • blue isosceles triangular flag at least 1' long (1)
  • silver container (100gp)
  • wooden spoon with a raven carved on it (1)
  • tuba (1)
  • glass container (100gp)
  • golden spoon (250gp)
  • silver knife (200gp)
  • compass (1)
  • silver plate (75gp)
  • gold plate (350gp)
  • crystal bottle (25gp)
  • cork (1)
  • linen undergarment (never worn) (1)

Assistants

a bard who can play the tuba (1)

Method

Just before starting, raise a blue flag outside the lab. Bring the vampire blood to boil in the silver container at exactly midnight at new moon. When it boils, smile and stir with a wooden spoon with a raven carved into it. Then after exactly five minutes, crumble a benzoin leaf and add to the blood, mixing thoroughly. Then leave to simmer gently for 25 minutes while chanting "ssenilkcis" and dancing freakishly whilst a bard plays the tuba.

Once the leaf has dissolved, cut up the storm giant heart into 13 pieces and add one piece every minute. Then stir with the raven spoon until the mixture is thick and slightly orange. Next add a sprinkle of dill and three dried peppermint leaves, stir four times anticlockwise. Add two crushed garlic cloves and the juice of two cleaver leaves.

Next heat half a pint of holy water in a glass container until it starts to boil. When it does, stir vigourously with a stick of white birch for one minute, then add it to the vampire blood whilst at the same time adding the half pint of non-heated holy water to the blood and stir with a golden spoon. Then smother the troll flesh onto the remorrhaz back skin with a silver knife and add to the mixture. Let it simmer for five minutes whilst you go outside and draw a tick on the flag.

After raising the flag again, add the powdered adrue and four blackcurrants that have to be spat from 10' away from the directions: north, east, south, west, and then one dropped from above whilst shouting: "plop". Stir for five minutes then leave to simmer for three hours. When you return, the potion should be a deep scarlet colour. If it isn't, proclaim "doh!" whilst lowering the blue flag, but if it is right you are doing well.

Now add only the stems of three hyssop leaves, stir with both the raven and the golden spoons at the same time. Crush the three neckbones and add to the potion whilst putting the four hairs on a silver plate and yelling "plip, plap, plank, plonk" and flicking the hairs into the pan. Then slice the mosasaurus lung into four pieces and carefully push the slices off a golden plate into the container with your tongue whilst trying to say: "flob, gob, blob, cob". Stir with golden spoon, and then keep the potion warm for twelve hours without it actually boiling.

When you come back, boil the liquid hard whilst fitting the dragon's intestine to a crystal bottle. When the liquid is boiling, add the mashed carrion crawler tentacle, the three plantain stalks and the fresh comfrey roots. Boil for five more minutes while crushing the haemotite. Add that and stir the simmering mixture for 30 minutes, whilst chanting: "glug mug glug glug, glug mug glug glug" (make an INT check at +3 to see if you say it right). If you don't, lower the blue flag and announce: "flump".

Once all that is done, leave the potion on a low heat until it turns dark purple. Then pour through the intestine into the bottle, cork it and leave to settle for three days. Filter the liquid using an unworn linen undergarment and pour back into the silver container. Leave for one hour, then it is ready to drink. If you succeed, before drinking the potion, lower the flag and shout: "IN!" The spell is complete.